If I Ruled The World… Every Day Would Be Halloween, The 4th Of July, And Shark Week.

(Because you’d get to dress up in costumes, drink beer and set off fireworks, and also because I don’t believe that knowledge of sharks should be limited to only one week… they are an ever-present danger.)

My mind is rather akin to that of a child’s, and therefore I like to imagine impossible scenarios that usually involve me as a super-famous rock star/actress/writer or as dictator of the world. I would be an excellent dictator, just so you know, and you would all love me. 

Everyone would have to hang this on their walls so you'd know that I'm serious about the law. (Not that fashion company.)
Everyone would have to hang this on their walls so you’d know that I’m serious about the law. (Not to be mistaken with that fashion company.)

There are quite a few things I’d do as Dictator of the World. Like eliminate almost all taxes, for example. I’d cut the government down to nothing and do this whole private-sector-rate-deduction-and-hiring-incentive-thing that I don’t feel like explaining right now. Also, I’d make it so that you could buy beer and liquor at every single proprietor, and make parking tickets illegal.

Because this is my real life.
Because this is my real life.

So, as Dictator, my “Dictatorial Cabinet” (or whatever you’d call that) would be as follows:

Ronald Reagan would be brought back to life and serve as my Vice President.

Morgan Freeman would be Secretary of State because he could convince anybody anything just by talking (also he might be God).

Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson would be Secretary of Treasury since he knows how to get that skrilla.

Jason Statham would be Secretary of Defense and Homeland Security because he could definitely kick everyone’s asses BY HIMSELF.

Larry David would be Secretary of Comedy and Czar of Nonsensical Rules. (I feel like I would need this, given my unorthodox ruling style.)

Anything else is to be determined. Things would be changed, but the Shark Week thing is forreal. Also, I wouldn’t let the NSA creep on anyone, so you’re welcome in advance.

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What would you do?

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White Girls Be Like

Hey there, I'm Alanna. I can't give you my last name for legal reasons, but you probably won't pronounce it right anyway. This is a blog about various occurrences in my life and also some of my thoughts and feelings about things, otherwise known as "what white girls be like". It's true. We be like... "Cats, Lana del Rey, Coors Light, and Twitter". If you disagree, please comment and tell me to shut up. Otherwise, enjoy! :)

9 thoughts on “If I Ruled The World… Every Day Would Be Halloween, The 4th Of July, And Shark Week.”

  1. I’m ready to bow down and swear allegiance to you already. I would also like help Mr. David with nonsensical rules and stuff. And thanks for the no taxes things. That is a bunch of crap. Oh and thanks for a good idea for a post that I may do someday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Totally, man, no problemo. In fact, if (when) I become Supreme Leader I’ll hire you with Larry David and possibly start a Blogging Task-Force you can lead or whatever. But I definitely just realized that my “Obey” picture is way too big when it’s on the computer. I freaked myself out for a second.

      Like

  2. YES for parking ticket illegality! Parking enforcement is one of the ABSOLUTE DUMBEST things a modern society has ever developed. It’s an open space that you are now monitoring and citing people for – great job you large child. Seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

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