“Oh, You Need A New Heart? I’m Still Using Mine, But You Can Have It.”

(I am a giant pushover, and everyone I know takes advantage of this fact. I need to re-read “The Prince”. By the way, this post isn’t going to be funny.)

Machiavelli was probably right: “The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous.” I’m not trying to say that I am always doing something for the best reasons or even that I’m a good person, but all too often throughout my life people have used me for my kindness in wanting to help them or for stuff that I have/can do for them. There are honestly very few people I can say I trust. Those who will have my back and I’ll always have theirs.

I’ve been fucked over so many times and let it go because I try to be forgiving. I try to help my friends or people who are in need (see my post on “Catholic Guilt”), only to turn around and watch them scatter when I need help myself. Therefore, I am officially calling bullshit on everyone and everything. (Just like my girl Victoria, on Angst.)


How many times do I have to be fucked over to realize that people are shitty and are just trying to take advantage of me? Again, I’ll quote Machiavelli:

“Of mankind we may say in general they are fickle, hypocritical, and greedy of gain.”

I have had quite a few experiences in the last few weeks that have reminded me that people are inherently evil and never to be trusted. A particular instance occurred when I made a new friend and loaned that person something I couldn’t afford to lose. Foolishly, I went against my better instincts and trusted this person. (I can’t tell you the story because it is kind of super illegal. Sorry. I really wish I could write what happened.) Regardless, my constant need to make people like me once again led to my demise. Now I have to live with the knowledge that I’m TOTALLY FUCKED and it’s MY GODDAMN STUPID FAULT.

However, this idiot made a mistake: he let me know where he lives and who he hangs out with. Bad call, bro. Another thing Machiavelli said:

“Before all else, be armed.”

Watch the fuck out, asshole. I'm coming for you.
Watch the fuck out, asshole. I’m coming for you.

Just kidding. I’m not gonna kill anyone. But I have my field hockey stick and I’m like Happy Gilmore with that bitch. I don’t even know how many girls I’ve given concussions to in my time of playing the sport. (Not like a straight whack to the head, but sometimes the ball would get some air and people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

Basically, I’m going to live life from now on according to Machiavellian Principle. I’m not even a scary person. I don’t threaten people and I’ve never physically fought anyone. But maybe it’s better to be scary, threatening, and possibly viewed as crazy? What do you think?

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”

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White Girls Be Like

Hey there, I'm Alanna. I can't give you my last name for legal reasons, but you probably won't pronounce it right anyway. This is a blog about various occurrences in my life and also some of my thoughts and feelings about things, otherwise known as "what white girls be like". It's true. We be like... "Cats, Lana del Rey, Coors Light, and Twitter". If you disagree, please comment and tell me to shut up. Otherwise, enjoy! :)

18 thoughts on ““Oh, You Need A New Heart? I’m Still Using Mine, But You Can Have It.””

  1. Grab that Field Hockey stick and go all Michael Meyers on that ass. Actually, lose the stick cause he would never use that. Just walk very calmly and steadily in the dead of the night with a flappy skinned mask and stare at him until he gives whatever it was back. Add in a very slow wave too…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your sympathy. It was my own fault for trusting some asshole I only knew for a little while. But still… we shall see who is the regretful one in the following days. I’m not about revenge, but karma is karma.


    1. Thank you so much!!! I just saw that CCCHANEL41 also nominated me and I just returned from an internet hiatus so I’ll definitely check it out! Thank you for the nomination and your kind words!! <3 :D

      Liked by 1 person


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