Just Your Everyday Neighborhood Nonsense, My Boyfriend Has A Mustache, Who Is Alanna?

You Can’t Put A Price On Friendship, But Patriotism Is Expensive.

(And it takes 3-5 business days to arrive. The flags, I mean. Friendship probably takes longer and you can’t get it shipped overnight.)

Alessandro thinks I’m weird because I’ve been buying an inordinate amount of American flags on Amazon.com. I need more friends that understand where I’m coming from. This is a conversation he and I had last night:

Alessandro: “But six giant flags is too many.”

me: “There’s no such thing as being ‘too‘ patriotic.”

Alessandro: “Throwing away $70 on nylon flags is too patriotic.”

me: “It sounds like you’re trying to put a price on freedom.”

Alessandro: “No, I’m putting a price on flags. That we don’t need.”

me: “But what if one touches the ground? We’d have to burn it and then you’ll be glad we have 5 more on backup.”

Alessandro: “We don’t actually HAVE to burn them if they touch the ground. Who’s going to enforce that law?”

me: “I assume the Secret Flag Police. Or Captain America because he just won’t stand for that type of behavior.”

Alessandro: “… So you just want to tie the flag around your neck and run around with a cape then?”

He is not wrong.


I’ve also decided that I need someone to hang out with so I’m looking for a cat. If anyone in the Pennsylvania area has kittens (or flags), please let me know. Gracias.


9 thoughts on “You Can’t Put A Price On Friendship, But Patriotism Is Expensive.

    • I agree, they are quite menacing-looking. I saw one on vacation one time and the tour guide was telling us facts about them but he kept saying the word “plumage” (which I think is fancy talk for “feathers”) and I couldn’t pay attention to the rest because that word was distracting. I don’t know who bald eagles think they are, but maybe plumage has something to do with their condescension?

      Liked by 1 person

  1. My dad collected flags. He had everything: Colonial, state, old Communist Russia. My favorite was the “Don’t Tread On Me” of the 13 colonies. It was a segmented snake, each segment being one of the colonies.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very true, I didn’t think about the toxicity of the burning. But the law does state that any flag that touches the ground has to be burned ceremonially and like buried or something. I’d have to look it up. But when I carry a flag I usually pretend the ground is lava


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