Is That “Where’s The Beef?” Lady Still Alive? Because We Can Tell Her To Stop Looking.

(I’ve found the beef. It’s all around me. I could grill burgers with everyone I know.)

But oh wait, I can’t…

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEF WITH LIKE ALL OF THEM.

Where's The Beef

Yessirree, my lucky streak with making friends is alive and well. Everywhere I go people break up, get into fights, and are covered in boils.

(But that’s not because of me. It’s because God hates me and sends the Plagues of Egypt to my life.)

(Make sure to paint your doorframe in sheep’s blood.)

I totally went back on the whole “Machiavellian” thing and trusted people I should not have. Once again, I attempted to bring people together and it ended in madness.

At least I know I don’t have a career in matchmaking.

Also, why do I surround myself with men who like to fight one another? I mean, can’t they just be like women? Say passive-aggressive insults to each other and talk shit behind their backs? It’s much easier and it doesn’t involve me LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!!!

I may not have a lot of closely-held principles, but I do live by one rule: if you hurt someone I love, you’re dead to me.

So am I going to forgive these people? ….

Wolf of Wall Street gif

I still don’t visit the imaginary grave of a kid who called my best friend “Harry Potter” in the first grade, just because she had a bowl cut and round glasses. I saw this kid’s ghost all the way through high school and never acknowledged it.

Even when I bumped into it in the hallway, knocking his ghost-books all over the place.

(Why a ghost needs books, I’ll never know, but it must be a common thing considering my books are always scattered all around my attic. Where the ghosts live.)

Regardless, I’m really beginning to think no one should hang around me EVER. It’s not good for anyone. I’m like a human sitcom except it’s not all that funny.

But people are just lucky I don’t seek revenge and everything is illegal because of the feminization of our society. I can’t even be like, “TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.” Cause bitches be bitches and they’d go tell on me. So I’m just gonna have to stew in my anger and chill in my house all like this:

Hunter S Thompson shooting gif

I blame Nixon.

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White Girls Be Like

Hey there, I'm Alanna. I can't give you my last name for legal reasons, but you probably won't pronounce it right anyway. This is a blog about various occurrences in my life and also some of my thoughts and feelings about things, otherwise known as "what white girls be like". It's true. We be like... "Cats, Lana del Rey, Coors Light, and Twitter". If you disagree, please comment and tell me to shut up. Otherwise, enjoy! :)

13 thoughts on “Is That “Where’s The Beef?” Lady Still Alive? Because We Can Tell Her To Stop Looking.”

  1. Am I reading this right? Are you a shit storm starter too? Although I’ve coined the term ACCIDENTAL shit storm starter. At work or wherever, my best of intentions usually cause a big stir of some kind and I leave a trail of mess wherever I go. And I end up dumbstruck because I never meant to cause harm in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ABSOLUTELY!! It’s like constantly having a raining cloud over your head, but instead of a cloud it’s a total shit storm. I truly don’t mean to incite all the anger and bullshit but it follows me around like I played with a Ouija board and brought something back with me. That something being a storm of shit. So I know exactly what you mean and I’m here for you sister! We’ve gotta stick together! Shit storm solidarity!! Haha

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yesss that sounds fantastic <3 I'm already half-way there with the whole "hiding-in-my-room" thing so now I just have to grab some books and possibly a flashlight in case it gets dark. HERMIT TWINS!!! WOOO

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  2. You learn as you grow that a few stable friends are 1,000 times better than dozens of crazy, emotional, back-stabbing aquaintences. Stop trying and the good ones will stick by you. The shit storms will lessen. Oh, and that Leo gif made my heart flutter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, true. It just stinks because knowing who to trust is impossible until something happens where someone has to prove themselves. I wish everybody had stats you could look up like the Sims. (Also, indeed, that gif is badass and you’re welcome haha)

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  3. JESUS SAID…….BY STEVE FINNELL

    Jesus said, “He who believes and is baptized will be saved..(MARK 16:16 NKJV)

    Men say “He who believes should be baptized as a testimony of their faith.”

    Men say, “He who has believed is saved already and should be baptized so they can join a denominational church.”

    Men say, “He who believes is saved without being baptized in water.”

    Men say, “He who believes can be saved by faith alone because baptism is a meaningless symbolic act.”

    Men say, “He who believes will be saved because God forces predestined men to believe, however, water baptism is a good work and not essential for salvation.”

    Question: If God forces predetermined men to believe so they can be saved, then why would God not force predetermined men to be immersed in water so they can be saved?

    Men say, “He who believes will be saved, however, water baptism is a nonessential act of obedience.”

    Men say, “Unbelieving infants who are baptized for the guilt of Adam’s sin will be saved.”

    Men say, “He who believes us who say water baptism is not essential for salvation will be saved by faith alone.”

    Men say, “He who believes will be saved without water baptism, because the thief on the cross was saved without being baptized.”

    Men say, “You can be saved without believing in Jesus or being baptized, because Abraham and Moses were saved without believing in Jesus or being baptized in water.”

    When Judgement Day arrives will men be judged by what Jesus said or what men say?

    Posted by Steve Finnell at 3:04 AM No comments:
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    YOU ARE INVITED TO FOLLOW MY BLOG. http://steve-finnell.blogspot.com

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