If This Blog Was A Baby, Social Services Would Have Taken It By Now.

(Maybe if the father was around, we wouldn’t be in this situation. I blame the system. And Penn State. Because when in doubt, blame Penn State.)

So it’s finally March and I’m hoping that the crippling darkness and cold will pass so I can once again emerge from my cave and rejoin humanity. Although I hope humanity gets hit in the head with a frying pan and gets out of this alternate state wherein they care about stupid shit.

Like the color of a goddamn dress. And 99.9% of what happens on Facebook.

There are more important things going on in the world. (LIKE TWO BLACK PARENTS GIVING BIRTH TO A WHITE BABY!!! WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!?! If there was any proof of the apocalypse, this would be it.)

19_07_2010 - 19.27.45 - SUN - PSN_9_WHITE_BABY.jpg

Also, someone out there tricked me into seeing child pornography. The kid found my phone number somehow and snapchatted me a picture of his penis. Which begs the question…


(I pray the answer is “no”.)

Especially penises who are under 18. So if any of you jokers out there think you should, be advised: I will kill you. Because I refuse to be an “accidental felon”. If there is any crime to commit, it shall be my own choice. To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you a criminal without your consent.

No, no, no. Eminem wags his finger at you.
No, no, no. Eminem wags his finger at you.

In other news, Pennsylvania is an unfortunate place to live. Don’t come here. I totally got shafted trying to VOLUNTEER for Tom Wolf’s inaugural ceremony because I’m not a registered Democrat. I literally wasn’t allowed to volunteer because I’m a Republican. How much bullshit is that?! 

A lot of bullshit. Is the answer to that question.

Plus, I’m buried in homework and almost out of oxygen. Because college is terrible.

But on the bright side, Pennsylvania has finally privatized the sale of liquor and stuff, so now I don’t have to go to the stupid state store which is always closed. And Spring Break starts on the 8th, so I’ll finally have some time to write on here again and possibly clean out my thousands of unread emails.

Anyways, thanks for hanging in there while I viciously neglected you all. Hopefully circumstance doesn’t kill me and I reclaim my life soon. The other night, I got super drunk and bought $40 worth of nail polish and a Wallflowers CD on Amazon. Be careful out there.

The end is near…

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White Girls Be Like

Hey there, I'm Alanna. I can't give you my last name for legal reasons, but you probably won't pronounce it right anyway. This is a blog about various occurrences in my life and also some of my thoughts and feelings about things, otherwise known as "what white girls be like". It's true. We be like... "Cats, Lana del Rey, Coors Light, and Twitter". If you disagree, please comment and tell me to shut up. Otherwise, enjoy! :)

12 thoughts on “If This Blog Was A Baby, Social Services Would Have Taken It By Now.”

        1. ALSO, totally get where you’re coming from with the whole Republican thing. During the last election, my school had those Obama busses to bring students to the town hall to vote, and I couldn’t help but think if they were to deny me a ride on the Obama bus if I wasn’t voting for him. The irony was too good, so I decided to find my own way.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Right? I mean, that’s some total bullshit, I never even heard of that. They should provide everyone with buses especially since Diddy wants us to “vote or die”, amiright? lol But yeah, the volunteering thing was nonsense cuz even though I’m Republican, I support some of what this new governor is doing and I was just trying to help out cuz I love my city, but they were total dickbags. Like because I’m not registered Democrat I’m gonna destroy the inaugural ceremony? No way, that’s idiotic. I was just trying to make some connects in journalism and I feel like I got robbed. I wish it wasn’t so partisan. I swear, I tell people I’m Republican and they flip the fuck out, and I’m just sitting there like CHILL EVERYBODY IT’S NO BIG DEAL. Ughh… I’m all worked up now hahha :P

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Tell me about it! Saying “I’m Republican” suddenly turns into this gay-hating- racists-woman-hating-shit-turd. I’m like whoa guys, thanks a lot, not even close. It gets me worked up too! I try to conceal my anger but it’s very hard. And I always laugh at the whole “VOTE OR DIE” crap. I only really vote during the presidential elections because to be honest, I don’t have the time to stand in line for hours and vote for people I don’t really follow. I’m human.

              I really, really, really despise politics. But on the bright side, if we get a Republican in office during the next round of elections, at least we won’t feel like we will be beheaded for even mentioning the R-word.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. FINALLY!!! Someone who gets it!! Thank you, Jessie. Forreal, everything you said is 100% and honestly, I feel like it’s only you and I commenting here because I declared my political orientation. Fucking ridiculous. As though we can’t have any other opinions than the furthest strict right-wing ideals? It’s true, it’s like being an outcast in this political climate. And you know we don’t even talk politics on our blogs but somebody will be pissed prolly lol. Nonsense. To the max.

                Liked by 1 person

                1. I never like to bring up politics. It makes me angry when someone randomly springs it up in our conversation and acts like we are on the same page but little do they know we are not. It’s just rude, ya know? What your doing is perfect Alanna. You are in no way forging your ideas into other peoples minds…it’s simply a story you’re telling :)

                  Liked by 1 person


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