(‘Cause my life is blowing up. Much like [insert innapropriate reference here]. There’s really no joking about bombs. Unless they include Jäger. Which supposedly means “hunter” in German. Ergo, comedy + bombs = NEIN!!)
(Also, comedy + Germany = nahh. No offense, Germany. You just have yet to make people laugh.)
Anyways, I saw a tiny alligator today. That’s not my news but I feel like it should be mentioned.
Isn’t she cute? Also, she goes well with my neighbor’s camo shorts so she’s fashionable as far as alligators go. I’m assuming, of course. I don’t know how they dress.
But my news is totally non-gator-related. It’s actually pretty awesome and possibly unreal. Perhaps even irrational. (Maybe if an alligator bites me, I’ll wake up and realize it was all a dream like how last night I dreamt LeSean McCoy pooped on my shoes. Which is a story for another time.)
My big news is that I’m working with one of my professors to write a novel.
GAHHHH!!
I’m sorry, I’m just stoked.
Also, she’s badass and a published author of amazing stories so you should all check her out and buy her book because it is totally worth it. I’m not just saying that either. It’s fantastic and also award-winning.
Seriously, though. Buy it. (Or else.) (Sike, not “Or else”. But maybe. You never know…)
So that’s why I probably won’t be writing much on here in the next few months. My book is gonna be about some serious stuff like mental illness and institutionalization and the like, but no worries folks; I’m only here to make you laugh. But in secret, I do have another side. It’s dark and crazy and a little bit sick. Maybe you’ll like it, though. So wish me luck and hope I get published.
If I make it as a writer, everybody’s getting a boat.
So, ya know… send good vibes. You might just get a boat.
(And who doesn’t love a nice boat?)
No one, that’s who.
Here’s a great song from one of the best Rolling Stones’ albums ever. Enjoy.
GAHHHH!! I’m stoked for you, too! Please at least try to throw your readers a couple of crumbs every now and again to let us know the status. Congrats, Alanna!
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Thanks!! Will do :D
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Alanna, oh my freaking goodness! I can’t believe you are gonna be famous! I’m so stoked for you! Go do this one for the rest of us!
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Ahh hopefully! And thank you!! If this goes anywhere I will make sure you’re all published or I’ll die trying haha
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Can’t wait to get my boat!
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I was ridiculously happy to see a new post from you. I already knew about the book (inside information suckahs!) but I was still glad to see it in writing from you. The book is going to be awesome. And I can’t wait for my boat. I’m trying to think of clever boat names as we speak. Lady Honeytits comes to mind first…
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Haha I like it! The name cards will prevail someday!!
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Congratulations, that has to be so exciting! Find the baby alligator of course, just kidding. Sending positive vibes your way!
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Thanks so much! :D
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Woohooo! Congrats! And good luck! Don’t neglect us too much :(
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Lol hopefully I won’t too much I’d miss you all
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Maybe your dreams will come true, and LeSean McCoy will poop in your shoes.
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Haha I really hope not. I’ve met him before and that would just be the last straw
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Oh so exciting! Good luck! That’s awesome news. (And I swear I’m not just saying that for the free boat.)
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Hahaha thank you! And even if you were, I wouldn’t blame you lol :)
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That’s pretty freaking awesome. Congrats, good luck, and I’m super jealous of the whole baby alligator situation as well.
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Lol right? I didn’t touch it but seeing one in real life is probably a bucket list thing haha also thank you :)
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