WHAT’S UP, BITCHES?!?! It’s That Time Again… More Comedy, More Free Shit!!

(It’s another giveaway, and another Funny Blog Friday event!! You should be stoked. Let’s win some more gift cards, people!!!)

Well hello again, my friends. I’m giving away more money. And featuring more guest posts on my site. (If you’re down to submit a post, email me at alannabelike@gmail.com).

(If you just want the money, tune in on Friday.)

The only difference this time is that I want to hear your New Year’s Resolutions!!

New Year Resolutions

I don’t care how crass, how personal, or how insignificant. I just wanna reblog your posts with your resolutions.

I also wanna give you gift cards from Amazon.com (Pick Your Poison)

Aditionally, there will be the raffle from rafflecopter.com

It’s really not that difficult. 

Also visit the other “Funny Blog Friday” Folks here:

fbf-1

Victoria of Angst Anarchy

Alanna of White Girls Be Like…

Jamie of Fits of Wit

Jessie of Jessie Reyna

HE Ellis of HE Ellis

Ben of Ben’s Bitter Blog

Gina of Endearingly Wacko

Eric of Opticynicism

Jenn of Properly Ridiculous

Alice of Alice At Wonderland

Lisa of Buddhaful Britt

JC of JCS Bloggery

Sarah of No Cry Babies

Elke of The Pretty Platform

Jack of The Things I see Up Here

Chicks A & E of Too Funny Chicks

Charly of Crazy Life

Kevin of Trailer Trash Deluxe

Karilin of That Nameless Color

Arthur of Pouring My Art Out

Keep on keeping on, and get reading for January 2nd, 2015 because we are bringing in the New Year in the most hilarious ways possible.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.

Tampon Anonymous

THE WINNER OF THE FUNNY BLOG FRIDAY (#FBF) GUEST POST CONTEST!!!
“Some suggestions for Feminine Hygiene companies”

Underdaddy

Sometimes having a heart to heart is really tough. However, with some honest dialogue there is room for growth. That being said… Pull up a chair and lets have a little chat. I would like to talk about something in your pants that every so often involves a man in your life.

You see the problem almost always starts out like this:

Supermom: Hey honey! Are you stopping by the store on the way home?

Me: Yeah I was going to pickup a case of Old Spice, some wood screws, and some beer.

Supermom: Great! I am trying to not stab the dog and cry randomly in front of the kids so I need you to get something for me while you are there.

Me: No problem sweetums. What do you need? (I think I know at this point)

Supermom: I’m feeling a little crampy and I think I am…

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Guest Post: CRAIGSLIST, AND OTHER REASONS WE’RE DOOMED . . .

I actually posted this over 3 years ago, but it still applies and it (they, it ended up being a series of 4) was probably the most popular posts I’ve ever done.  This is the first of the series.  I hope you and everyone else enjoys!

 
 
Visit me anytime at www.opticynicism.com – Comedic verbal therapy for my ever growing list of mental disorders.  I make you laugh so I don’t cry.
 
Eric Waechter”

Don’t Ever Say You’re Bored

“Delores Obscure is a guest blogger on creativefreeflow, our main blog.”

Delores Obscure

Helen_martins

Don’t Ever Say You’re Bored

I have to get this off my chest ‘cause it’s working on my tits.

Don’t ever say you’re bored. Ever.

You’re a disgrace to yourself and the entire human race.

It pisses me off that bloggers write about how bored they are. If you blog, you have access to the Internet, for godssakes. Don’t waste our time; no-one wants to hear how you can’t fucking keep yourself busy, what with a fair-sized brain and all.

And don’t waste your time. Like it or not you don’t have much left.
How old are you?
19? You don’t have much time left, sweetheart. Believe me.
25? The smell of death is already in your nostrils.
43? Do those earlobes go flabbier each year?

Do something with your time. Here are a few suggestions:

Learn how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘could you help me?’ and…

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Guest Post: Death of the “TO DO” list

From Creative Blog Mom

Death of the “TO DO” list
Do I rest or do I get stuff done?
If I rest, I’ll feel better.
If I get stuff done, I’ll feel accomplished.
If I rest and don’t get anything done, I’ll be pissed the next day that I still have that stuff to do.
If I get stuff done, it still won’t be enough, and I’ll still be tired.
I don’t make ‘to do’ lists anymore.
It’s too depressing. They only get longer.
I never get to cross anything off.
Maddening!!
Oh well. I really don’t care.

Guest Post: “Well this is horrifying– AND hilarious”

“Below is a humorous blog post from my website for your consideration. It’s R-rated, so it may need to carry a warning disclaimer if you decide to post it. Because I have the sense of humor of a 12-year old boy, the odd combination of all these filthy words just strikes me as hilarious.

Let see– you needed a description of me. I’m the worst kind of asshole– I think I’m funny. Also, I’m a middle-class working Mom from suburbia with a six-year old son and a Russian husband. I can speak Russian fluently, though I’m not Russian. It’s a long story.”

Taxco

“A little something about myself: I’m a native SFer. My blog is about bracelets, specifically my bracelet collection. Through the collection and my other bracelet desires I tell stories. About myself, the world, TV shows, anything really. And, clearly, I use my blog to work through some shit. Writing is expression! My husband’s endorsement of my blog is “It’s oddly fascinating.” “

Very Bangled

No, this is not an accounting post.

Taxco, Mexico sits atop a great big silver mine. It’s from where (whence, dude, whence) most Mexican silver originates. In my collection my silver pieces are either Tiffany’s, Native American or Taxco. That was probably the single most snobbiest sentence I’ve ever written. All my jewels are Tiffany’s, dahling. And when I don’t shop Tiffany’s I jet down to Taxco. En e weigh, when a tumblr slash website Mexican Silver Store started following me, my eyes popped open. Mexican silver = candy for Margaret and I was not disappointed.

But what I did not anticipate is the copper. The copper! Wow, so pretty. I don’t have any copper jewelry, do you? Brass, silver, nickel, rubber, gold, sure but not copper.

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$79.95 for a pair of bangles! And I have the 10% discount code which is Tumblr

I probably won’t pull the trigger because…

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